As I sit and wait for LJ to fall asleep for the night, I can't help but think about how lucky I am. My dream has always been to be a mom. I fell in love with Emma the day I found out I was pregnant. Even though I knew that there were a few people that would not be so happy with me, I weathered the storm and got through it. We did not know until the day that I had her that she was a girl. The funniest thing happened though. She came out and my mom said "it's a boy!" I heard the nurse say "no it's not!" She was beautiful. Even now, I can't help but tear up when I think about that day. She was the best baby, slept through the night at 6 weeks. I wish I could say that was still the case. Even now, she has such a great personality. She is independent, outgoing and loving~she tells me all the time that she loves me and each time I melt. We waited until she was 1 1/2 to try for #2. We were not successful. It was a very hard time for both of us. We didn't tell too many people about the problems that we were having, just because it was so difficult. We tried the clomid and it just didn't work. My doctor only let me try it for 3 months. We had an appt. to see a fertility specialist and I ended up having to cancel it because our insurance did not cover any part of it because I had no underlying problems. We pretty much gave up on the idea of having any more kids and realized we were blessed just to have Emma. One night, a few months later, we were hanging out with my sister-in-law and had gone out to dinner. Now when I was pregnant with Emma I had preeclampsia, so I knew the definition of swollen feet and ankles and toes. It was awful. After dinner, I noticed that my ankles, feet and toes were swollen. The next morning I woke up to go to the bathroom and figured, I might as well take a test, I'm sure it'll be negative, but why not. It was weird that they were swollen, but I'm sure I'm not pregnant. I didn't tell Lynn that I was going to. So I brushed my teeth and looked at it and sure enough there were 2 lines. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Two lines, how could this be? There is no way. It has to be wrong. Well 2 more tests later, they still said the same thing. I yelled for Lynn and just showed him. I didn't even have to say anything and I just cried. During the whole pregnancy, I still did not believe it. I had just prepared myself that this was not going to happen. Even when we found out he was a boy, it still didn't sink in. Now he is 6 1/2 weeks old and I couldn't be more happy. Sometimes I look at him and still can't believe it. We are truly blessed to have these 2 babies.
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